Reflections on Mental Health
Stigma is a huge obstacle to people getting help when struggling with their mental health. The idea of being judged, ridiculed and excluded weighs very heavily on their minds. Indeed, it can be the case that some of us avoid discussing our emotions because we believe others simply can't understand how we're feeling.
With a surname like Yeates, I have found it helpful to pen short poems to give some insight into how my metal illness affects me (no offence WB!).
Hopefully, some of these works might resonate with you or give you pause to think about what others may be going through.
When it comes to stigma, anxiety or depression, it would be wonderful if everyone could be more aware of signs and symptoms and how they can support others in an empathetic way.
IT’S A SHAME
Oh my god, how did it get to this?
How did things get so bad, what did I miss?
I can’t believe how quickly I’ve gone to pot,
Why didn’t I do more to stop the rot?
I’m a total failure, an imposter a charlatan!
To think that I was trusted and depended upon.
I’m supposed to be smart, talented and strong,
But I’m useless, and weak, and get everything wrong.
Now I’m found out and everyone knows,
I deserve to be punished, to take all the blows.
I’ll never be any good or useful at all,
There’s no going back from this ignominious fall.
I can’t look anyone in the eye, I have nothing of value to raise,
I’ll just have to carry this shame until the end of my days.
So, what did I do to be so ashamed of myself? Did I get caught drunk driving? Did I cheat on my wife? Did I defraud my employer?
None of these!
What I did was deny and hide the fact that I was struggling with my mental health to the point that I needed professional help. I was diagnosed with Depression, shame on me!!
BIG BOYS
Big boys don’t cry
You can’t be a man with a tear in your eye.
Big boys always win
Anything less should feel like a sin.
Big boys are tall and strong
They’re always right and never wrong.
Big boys are hard as teak
Feelings and emotions are only for the weak.
Big boys don’t ever worry
They’re far too busy and always in a hurry.
Big boys make it to the top
They don’t give up and never stop.
Big boys don’t cry............Really?!!
TURMOIL
My mind is in turmoil,
There’s a weight on my chest.
I lie in bed all day, but I get no rest.
The things I used to do with relative ease,
Now terrify me and make me freeze.
When I close my eyes, I’ll never be free,
Demons and devils are all I can see.
But maybe I can escape from this relentless plight,
And slip away like a thief in the night?
So, I head on out for that final mile,
When I meet an old lady with a kindly smile.
I decided to stop, and soon I was reeling,
She touched me gently and asked; “How are you feeling?”
She listened attentively and allowed me to speak,
And the more that I told her, the less I felt weak.
When I stopped talking, I felt a great relief,
And couldn’t understand this new-found belief.
The lady reminded me that life is not fair,
And to lean on friends and family, that’s why they’re there.
I turned to thank her, but she was not to be seen,
Did I dream this encounter or what does it mean?
Then I sought out support, and now feel so blessed,
My mind is clear, and I no longer feel stressed.
So, if your mind is in turmoil, and you can find no peace,
Reach out for help and watch your torment decrease.
WHAT WOULD YOU RATHER?
The alarm clock rings early, I don’t know why I set it,
Another sleepless night, I’ll soon regret it.
The knot in my stomach screams “go back to sleep”,
Would you rather be safe, or jump into the deep?
There’s an important meeting I really can’t miss,
If only I could avoid it, now that would be bliss!
I’m certain if I go in, they’ll suss me out,
Would you rather give it a go, or struggle on in doubt?
If I’m in that boardroom, all eyes will be on me,
I’ll feel their judgement, and their derision I’ll see.
I simply can’t face it, but I daren’t call in sick,
Would you rather do your best or give yourself stick?
Time moves on and I start to slumber,
When my phone starts buzzing, dear God, it’s my boss’s number!
My heart is thumping, my brain is on fire,
Would you rather answer it or stay stuck in the mire?
The panic is too much, I ignore the call,
How can I explain my situation at all?
The ringing stops, she’s left a message instead,
Would you rather hear it or stay hiding in bed?
She’s postponed the meeting, because she wants me there,
She’s concerned about me and that I’m getting good care,
“Meet me off-site, let’s have a good chat,
Would you rather wait a while? I’m also good with that.”
I called her back and we agreed to meet quickly,
I did the talking and she listened intently,
She signposted supports offered by the organisation,
“Would you rather suffer in silence or trust my motivation?”
The alarm clock rings early, much time has gone by,
There’s a big meeting today, I won’t be shy,
They’re counting on my input, as for so many years,
Would you rather bottle your feelings or seek out sympathetic ears?
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